OF DEATH AND TAXES

Well, it’s that weekend again. Time to pull “that” file folder out of the cabinet, separate and create piles of receipts, papers and other paraphernalia on my desk top and start entering numbers into the tax software. I know that most people dread the thought of having to file a tax return but if you are organized and have the ability to read and follow instructions, it is not really all that bad. There is however, a bigger picture to consider here and I wish that parents, schools and politicians would spend more time explaining the benefits and purposes of income taxes so that people could rethink the negative stigma of “doing their taxes.”

I’ll touch on misguided tax applications later but it is important to remember that taxes create roads to drive on, schools to teach our children, hospitals to heal our sick, armed forces to protect our freedom, police to keep us safe, libraries to encourage reading, parks to play in, and so much more. A fair and reasonable process for collecting taxes and using them is the hallmark of a civilized society. Of course, we could revert to the good old days where the toughest son of a bitch in the surrounding country would simply bang on our door and demand a portion of our worldly goods. It’s still done that way in some parts of our planet, so be grateful.

It bothers me how many people turn this element of their life over to complete strangers because they think, or at least say, that preparing and submitting taxes is too complicated. This is a straight out opinion on my part, but often those people say that because they simply haven’t tried or are lazy enough to believe what someone else has told them. I am more than shocked by the number of people who have a simple income slip or perhaps just a social assistance slip and run to a tax preparer and pay money (which is obviously a scarce commodity for them) to have somebody with a few hours training submit their return. It would take about 2 minutes on the phone with the tax department to explain how to do it themselves. Seems like an appropriate time to offer this week’s

BOOMER TUNE ALERT

There are several versions of the song, “Money,” the first of which was written by Berry Gordy, the legendary head of Motown, in 1959 and released by Garret Strong. It went on to become the first hit song from Motown. It has been covered by absolutely everybody over the years. For me, the best rendition was created by the British alt rock band Pink Floyd on the mega hit album, “The Wall.” It was unique because of a 20 second loop they included that had the sound of an old fashioned cash register, the tossing of a roll of coins into a container and the iconic sax solo. Give it a listen:

When it comes to most people, taxes make sense when they think about it but their chief concerns are twofold, 1) the amount of taxes they pay and 2) how their taxes are spent – hello Bombardier. These two concerns are directly linked as we give the power to spend to our politicians who turn around and constantly bribe us with our own money. The sad part is that as an electorate we continue to fall for this scam and think that the “government” giving us some of our own money in the form of pensions, social benefits and other tax inducements is a good thing. We then proceed to complain about how much tax we pay.

I started doing my own taxes a long, long time ago and then enlisted the aid of a tax software program about 10 – 15 years ago and I have some tricky parts on my return – foreign income/business income and expenses – thanks for buying my books – but the process is pretty painless. My point about taxes is that it is such a vital part of our financial lives and represents such a large portion of our earnings that I can’t understand why otherwise intelligent people would turn over this process to someone else. Honestly, you will have a much better understanding of your own money by taking on the task yourself. There is all sorts of help available including tutorials and videos – if you are in Canada, go here if you need it.

OK, time to sit down, haul out the file folder (you have one don’t you?) and assemble your tax return, submit and relax. You are making a difference in your life and the lives of others with your contribution to the greater good. Once you finish, perhaps you would like to join me in this celebration recipe for dinner.

FIRE + MEAT + WINE = DINNER

HOW DO YOU WRITE A BOOK?

It’s been awhile but I got asked this week, “How did you write your book?” The best part of the question was the fact that the inquirer was actually interested in the answer which is a nice bonus. I’ve answered this question in a number of different ways in the past including actually writing a book about well, writing a book. I’ve also answered or addressed this question in various seminars, workshops and coaching sessions with aspiring authors. However, in the off chance that you, dear reader, are interested in how I wrote, THE WEST COAST TRAIL: One Step at a Time, following are some of the basic ideas of how I did it.

Now if you are not interested in how to write a book (and I completely understand and forgive you your trespasses), you might be interested in what I’m making for dinner tonight and that recipe is here. On the other hand, if you don’t read on past the recipe, you will never know what this week’s Boomer Tune Alert is. Here’s the recipe for

Pollo Alla Romano:

serves 4

  • A nice plump chicken weighing about 1.5 kg / 3 lb
  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 50 g pancetta, diced (optional but I used it)
  • salt and pepper
  • a plump clove of garlic (optional – never spare the garlic)
  • a glass of dry white wine (and another for the cook)
  • 300 g tomatoes or passata
  • 4 large red peppers (I used red and yellow)

Clean the chicken and cut it into 8 eight pieces.

In a large heavy based pan fry the diced pancetta in the olive oil until it renders its fat. Add the chicken pieces skin side down and cook until the skin forms a golden crust, then turn them and fry the other side.

Add salt, several grindings of black pepper and the garlic and turn the pieces over three or four times. Add the wine and let it bubble away until most of it has evaporated.

Coarsely chop the tomatoes and deseed the peppers and cut them into chunky pieces. Add the tomatoes and the peppers to the pan, stir, cover the pan and leave over a modest heat. Keep an eagle eye on the pan for the first 10 minutes, stirring every now and then to prevent sticking. Once the peppers release their juices, half cover the pan and cook for another 45 minutes or until the tomatoes and peppers have collapsed into a dense, rich sauce and the chicken is tender.

Allow the pan to sit for about 15 minutes or better still a couple of hours or overnight (in which case you can just reheat it very very gently over a low flame until it is warm but not hot.) Serve with good bread and a glass of wine.

GRUMPY OLD FART

I have occasionally been accused of being a grumpy old fart. The odd, “harumph” notwithstanding, it might have some validity. I wonder why, as we get older, we sometimes take on this grumpy air? It’s not necessarily a baby boomer thing as I remember my Dad being a bit grumpier as he got older, too and have seen this phenomenon in many others along the way. Apparently it is important to investigate this matter and bring the cause out into the open so we can all understand. Your faithful scribe has taken on this task and my report follows: research grants have been awarded to study what is now labelled Irritable Male Syndrome (consider the use of perfectly good money to create a name for that which is quite normal). My grumpiness showing?  Maybe, but read on.

There are a number of triggers for this state of being including, politicians, economists, talking heads, so-called experts, and various and sundry other self appointed interpreters of the state of the world being. The underlying cause in all of this is the repetitive nature of their constant opinions and bullshit. Yes, our BS meters become far more sensitive as we age. We can get sick and tired of the same old ideas presented with different words. Take for example, the politicians of every age and persuasion who have always been telling us that the opposition is bad for us and that they will now make changes for our benefit. The old regime was a negative force in our lives and if we just vote this new flavor into power, all will be right with our world because only the new group represents the best interests of the populace. Have you ever heard that before? Of course you have, and repeatedly, ad nauseum. Four years later, the same BS gets repeated again, and again, and again. No wonder we get irritable – we’ve heard the same BS for so long that we no longer believe any of it and long for the fresh air of truth.

However, after much research on your behalf, and the sharp eye of my cousin Sally Weaver, I have found the cure for grumpiness and we will reveal all right after this musical interlude.

BOOMER TUNE ALERT

The Mar-Keys released a song in 1961 called “Last Night” that I’ll bet none of you remember but for some strange reason became one of my favourites. It hit # 3 on the Pop charts and #2 on the R& B charts. It’s an instrumental and one of the things that makes it unique for the time is that there is no guitar in the tune. Give it a listen and then come back for the “grumpy old fart” solution.

And now that you are all “tuned up,” let’s proceed to the solution to “grumpy old fart syndrome”. This is ground breaking research painstakingly undertaken by an expert in her field. I would like you to pay particular attention to benefit # 7 as this gasses any previous reasons to hold in your feelings.

Farting: 7 Surprising And Spectacular Health Benefits

beccaREBECCA ENDICOTT

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the appeal of maintaining an air of mystery. Still, sometimes you just have to square your shoulders and tell it like it is.

I think this is especially true when it comes to information on leading a healthy lifestyle.

Health, even at it’s very best, can be kind of messy and gross. That’s why it’s so important to have these frank conversations from time to time.

Whether you’re touching on why it’s healthier to sleep in the nude, or assessing the shape and consistency of your, um, BMs, it’s all valuable information.

Today’s topic? Flatulence. Farting. Passing gas. No matter how you put it, it doesn’t get any prettier, but it can have a dramatic influence on your health.

Scroll through the gallery below to learn about a few of the stunning health benefits of letting one rip.

Gas 101

Gas 101

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

First and foremost, passing gas is a totally natural bodily function.

It’s a necessary and normal part of digesting food; as your stomach and intestines break down chow for nutrients, a certain amount of gas is the inevitable by-product, according to WebMD.

Absolutely everybody in the whole world has to do it for their digestive health; it would be much more worrisome if you didn’t fart.

Benefit #1: It Reduces Bloating

Benefit #1: It Reduces Bloating

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

If you’re feeling bloated after a big meal, unreleased gas may be one of the culprits at work.

For most people, bloating is a feeling of bodily swelling and temporary weight gain that isn’t dangerous, but might make those new jeans fit a little tighter.

Some of it is caused by water retention, where your cells hang onto extra water for one reason or another, but that feeling of fullness and discomfort in your belly?

That’s gas, waiting to escape. Letting it fly will instantly reduce your bloating and discomfort.

Benefit #2: It’s Good For Your Colon Health

Benefit #2: It’s Good For Your Colon Health

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

You know how your mom told you when you were little not to “hold it?”

That piece of common wisdom should be taken seriously; holding in anything for extended periods of time isn’t good for your health.

While occasionally clenching to avoid an embarrassing toot isn’t an issue, if you have other digestive issues, holding in your gas can potentially cause medical troubles for your colon, according to Women’s Health Mag.

Benefit #3: It’s An Excellent Early Warning System

Benefit #3: It’s An Excellent Early Warning System

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

Farts are one of those bodily functions that you just can’t escape.

While you may resent it somedays, you might be grateful when you realize that your gas can occasionally predict major health issues early, giving you a sign to get to the doctor and have yourself evaluated.

Extreme smells, increasing gas frequency, and strange gas pains can alert you to conditions as mild as lactose intolerance, and as extreme as colon cancer.

Benefit #4: The Odor Is Good For You

Benefit #4: The Odor Is Good For You

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

Yes, you read that right, sniffing farts may actually be healthy for you.

It sounds weird, but bear with us; studies have indicated that a compound we produce in small quantities in our gas, hydrogen sulfide, might actually protect us from later illness.

This gas is the “rotten egg” smell often present in digestive gas, and is toxic in large doses, but in small doses may stave off cell damage and prevent strokes and heart attacks down the line.

Benefit #5: It Can Help You Balance Your Diet

Benefit #5: It Can Help You Balance Your Diet

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

We all need a balanced diet to stay healthy, and your farts might help clue you into what foods your gut needs.

Different foods produce different kinds of gas, letting you know what you may be missing from your diet, or overindulging in.

For example, if you rarely pass gas, you probably need more fiber and foods like lentils, beans, and kale in your diet.

Eating too much red meat, meanwhile, can produce a deeply unpleasant smell later, which tells you that you may need to cut back your consumption.

Benefit #6: It Indicates Healthy, Happy Gut Bacteria

Benefit #6: It Indicates Healthy, Happy Gut Bacteria

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

All right, here’s a slightly unpleasant truth: slimmer, healthier people often fart more.

In other words, the price you pay for better overall health might be a slightly stinkier digestive system.

That’s because the foods that feed your microbiome and encourage more efficient digestion are foods like cauliflower, cabbage, and brussels sprouts, according to NPR.

These leafy greens kick your gut bacteria into high gear, which means both better digestion, and more gases produced.

Benefit #7: It’s A Huge Relief

Benefit #7: It’s A Huge Relief

Tayra Lucero for LittleThings

Let’s face it; there is no better feeling than releasing a long-held fart.

Sure, the actual act of farting might be embarrassing if you’re caught by the wrong person, but the relief of passing gas is worth it.

Holding in gas can make you grumpy, uncomfortable, and snappish; reasonably, releasing boosts your mood considerably!

Were you surprised to learn about the hidden benefits of this stinky bodily function? Let us know in the comments below, and don’t forget to SHARE this frank and honest health guide with friends and family!